The Balance or lack Thereof
I had an interesting conversation today about public school "when I was a kid". And it was semi-enlightening or confirming to me that there is just a completely unfair balance when it comes to teaching our children.
I for one, was a Neurotypical, typical child. I had a few bad but many good school experiences. Our school was not riddled with problems, yet suffered it's fair share. In any case, I can only remember my parents having to involve themselves twice in my 13 years of public school due to school problems.
Okay, so 13 years, 2 incidents. That's probably about average. But here I sit, the parent of a special needs child and have beaten this record in one year and in at least in triplicate. What is wrong with this picture?
Not only are we running ragged learning to manage our special needs children's appointments, therapies, social skills groups and the likes, we deal with a day in, day out learning curve on how to manage our children's emotional needs at home (Doc Spock had noooooo idea).
Add to all of this a new slant. Suddenly, we have a burden that is unique to special needs families - making the schools "teach" our children.
I can't help but envy the parents (like mine) whose biggest obstacle was that "one" teacher who seemed to have it in for their child. Or the parent who objects when the school play lead is given to the mayor's daughter when she certainly isn't as talented as their own. And so on and so forth.
It almost begins to feel like we, special needs parents, are being taken advantage of. We are weak prey, the injured quarry.
And I don't want to sound like I'm only blaming the teachers. It's not always a teacher issue. Many times, it's unwritten school policy.
And I'm sure the schools will blame the States who blame the Feds. But what it comes down to is this. We are all talking about the education of a child.
Will that "one" teacher ruin a child. No, it will probably make him stronger for having to deal with the conflict. Will losing the lead in the play devastate the child to the point of depression and future trauma. No, it will probably make her more determined to work harder.
On the other hand, doing the minimal for our children who are in need of the maximum will affect them for life. Schools have our children for 13 plus years for the greater part of their days. You can do a lot of damage in that time to self esteem, hopes and dreams. And on the other hand, you might just be able to help mold them into functional citizens.
Which shall you choose?
I for one, was a Neurotypical, typical child. I had a few bad but many good school experiences. Our school was not riddled with problems, yet suffered it's fair share. In any case, I can only remember my parents having to involve themselves twice in my 13 years of public school due to school problems.
Okay, so 13 years, 2 incidents. That's probably about average. But here I sit, the parent of a special needs child and have beaten this record in one year and in at least in triplicate. What is wrong with this picture?
Not only are we running ragged learning to manage our special needs children's appointments, therapies, social skills groups and the likes, we deal with a day in, day out learning curve on how to manage our children's emotional needs at home (Doc Spock had noooooo idea).
Add to all of this a new slant. Suddenly, we have a burden that is unique to special needs families - making the schools "teach" our children.
I can't help but envy the parents (like mine) whose biggest obstacle was that "one" teacher who seemed to have it in for their child. Or the parent who objects when the school play lead is given to the mayor's daughter when she certainly isn't as talented as their own. And so on and so forth.
It almost begins to feel like we, special needs parents, are being taken advantage of. We are weak prey, the injured quarry.
And I don't want to sound like I'm only blaming the teachers. It's not always a teacher issue. Many times, it's unwritten school policy.
And I'm sure the schools will blame the States who blame the Feds. But what it comes down to is this. We are all talking about the education of a child.
Will that "one" teacher ruin a child. No, it will probably make him stronger for having to deal with the conflict. Will losing the lead in the play devastate the child to the point of depression and future trauma. No, it will probably make her more determined to work harder.
On the other hand, doing the minimal for our children who are in need of the maximum will affect them for life. Schools have our children for 13 plus years for the greater part of their days. You can do a lot of damage in that time to self esteem, hopes and dreams. And on the other hand, you might just be able to help mold them into functional citizens.
Which shall you choose?
posted by AS Mom at
3/27/2006 01:48:00 PM
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